Here I Am Lord

In May I went on tour to the East Coast/Washington D. C. with the Waldorf Choir. One of our songs in our set was “Here I Am Lord,” and that really held special meaning to me. I remember our very last concert of the tour being in the basement of the church during the intermission taking a moment to compose myself and looking over to Jon and telling him I may have to grab his hand as well from the row behind me because I knew that I would cry like crazy for that song and “Beautiful Savior.” I was right, I cried quite a bit. However, I managed to compose myself pretty well until the end of the concert when the entire choir started giving Britt and I hugs since that was our last choir performance. Jon and Phil made me cry the most, but I love them for that. I had forgotten all about this until I attended the Epiphany service with the Ebenezer Lutheran Parish on January 6. Dan and Dennis, one of the choir members, sang this song as a special piece during the service. As they sang this memory came flooding back to me and I started to tear up. Heck, even now I am a little. This song just really hit home for me at that point in my life.

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I had just participated in Graduation and I was preparing to leave for a new country and there were a heck of a lot of unknowns out there. The words of this song really hit home, especially the chorus. “I will go Lord, if You lead me.” That right there is when I cried every time. I was and still am fully relying on the Lord to guide me in this journey. There is a whole lot of unknowns when you pick up before your last semester to move to another country to teach for a year. I have had to fully rely on Him and do what I have been asked to do. This is something that I could not ever have dreamed of doing in my entire life, so I know that it was of His doing and not my own.

Things may get crazy here, but I could not be more thankful for that. This has been a true learning experience for me. I have learned so much about myself and my teaching style in the four months I have been here. It will only help me when I do my student teaching. I look forward to being able to student teach along with Jon. In fact, that was something he talked about as he gave me a hug at the end of the concert. I look forward to seeing all of my friends in person again and to be able to hug them, to drum with Sheltered Reality, to drive my wonderful HHR again. All of these things I look forward to with a smile on, but at the same time I don’t want them to come, because I will be leaving a piece of my heart in Guyana.

As I look back on my life I know there are several things that if I could go back in time and do over again I would make very different decisions. Is this one of them? No way! Is it weird taking a year off of school and then go back for one last semester? Probably. Do I care? No. Am I glad I did it? You bet I am! Who else can say when they walk into their student teaching placement on the first day of school that they spent a year teaching and helping to set up a brand new music academy in South America? If you know of someone else (who is not Dan or Claire) then I humbly ask you to correct me. This has been a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I think it has changed me for the better. You better believe it.  Here I am Lord. Lead me where you want me to go and tell me what you want me to do. I will go Lord. I will hold Your people in my heart no matter where you send me.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey. I know many people thought I was crazy for doing this, I am. I couldn’t be happier that I am though.

If you want to hear a wonderful rendition of “Here I Am Lord” go to http://youtu.be/AoXYjKFrQu0 It is Luther’s choir (I can’t believe I am sending you to a Luther site). Sadly there are no posted videos of the Waldorf Choir singing this wonderful piece, but if I ever get a hold of one I will post it on the blog!

***Update 29/1/15 Here is a link to the Waldorf Choir's tour video of "Here I Am Lord." http://youtu.be/_9ZnbcYUT1s?list=PLE-cpq8Lr9jQu5Lb-no6YTfEtvFSYBhwS 
I am on the right side in the second row. Jon is on the end of the back row.